Friday, August 13, 2010

what are my thumbs good for now?

when I left albuquerque it basically broke my heart. the goodbyes were vague. it was before medical clearance, and invitation kits, and knowing that i had a plan beyond august. so i said my fair wells and drove away.
of course through out the summer i wasn't out of communication with them. thankfully i had my texting and did it ever get me through the summer. it was sad that i had to tell all my friends my great news not face to face, but i still knew they were pumped for me. and they were there to encourage me through the stresses and worries that came with this process. and as each day goes by, those feelings have for sure heightened.
so has the reality that i've only got about a week or so of those texts and occasional phone calls left. you start to think, hey will i ever see so-and-so again. i know i'll see such-and-such, but what about whats-her-toe? and it is hard to come to this realization and have it maybe be a one sided emotion. sure so-and-so and whats-her-toe will miss you, but do they know if they will see you again. thankfully in this age of communication i'll be in contact, but will i ever hug such-and-such again?
goodbyes are awkward, well at least for me. they involve those hugs that you don't want to end and the avoiding eye contact as best as possible to not just break down. well, how are you suppose to avoid eye contact through a text? there won't be the hugs, and the parties, and good luck wishes. just texts to boost the moral one last time, and perhaps a completely avoided farewell (at least on my part).

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